just woke up and he was jacking off in the corner.. am i being punked?
'fingered' and 'feelings' NEVER belong in the same sentence.
PS: the photo I uploaded for this internship site is the same one i used for my fake ID. I like to keep it classy.
Don't EVER smell your tampon
She's in Spain. I'm in Holland. World Cup Final is Sunday.
Dude, it's like the Romeo and Juliet of FIFA.
There are walks of shame and then there are walks of what the hell is wrong with you.
Your like the Mozart of blow jobs, you make every other girl seem like cheesy elevator music.
he shit on the floor last night i'm not venturing down there
doctors was a success... no liver damage and I lost five pounds.. we're celebrating tonight you get the whiskey I'll get the burritos.
I could not handle jail. And my very angry parents.
You wanna know what I want to eat? Questionable Mexican food before I go drink. Makes for excitement. Will I puke it up or shit my pants
If you fuck up my birthday by dying I will kick your fucking corpse.
How can I prove that I give 401k advice and not handjobs?
Kyle passed out in the tub after breaking a glass and shouting, "WHAT ASSHOLE GAVE ME A GLASS?" His girlfriend gave it to him...
Last night I had a dream that I changed my last name to Vodka. what does that say about my life?
Randomize
