She smells like mac and cheese, right after you add the cheese. It's strangely erotic.
doing shots has become such a natural thing to me that i just instinctively swallowed listerine
He told me about his girlfriends trust issues during our post sex spooning
I really hope our interview with channel 6 last night doesn't air or else my parents are gona get a first hand look at my alcohol problem
i left the icescrapper in his bathroom. i dont remember taking it there, but i remember brushing his hair with it.
Way to high for badminton right now. This is gonna be a shitshow.
He showed me one of his balls and said "this one's free. you'll have to work to see the other.."
You kept apologizing for not offering me some of your Whisky, which you referred to as "Jesus Nectar".
I was having the most awesome dream about onion rings and you hit me and told me to stop touching you...WTF?
He started french braiding my hair while I was blowing him. The question is not why, but how.
I have six new people in my phone that I don't remember adding. One of them is "Bourbon Yeah." Successful evening?
The name of the man in your bed is not Ryan. I can't remember what his name is but that is wrong
I made out with a girl because I wanted to get in the VIP section of the bar because they have these big comfy couches. It worked.
My manager gave me an envelope with money in it before he had vacation, and when I asked what it was for, he said it will be his bail money.
You know your life has gone off the rails when waking up in a Spanish hospital with alcohol poisoning and no memory of how you got there is not even your top wildest drinking story.
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