I'm pretty sure a girl doesn't give it up with a reverse cow girl...
You guys were grinding to YMCA. I knew you were going to hook up with him.
Say it nicely.
Fine. I want to lovingly bend you over and lovingly fuck the shit out of you. Happy?
High enough to fry lime slices.....tasted like shit, by the way
Dude you didn't move for like 2 hours then suddenly sang the chorus to ghetto superstar and passed back out
i've never seen someone face fit so perfectly in a toilet bowl
My mom now keeps ice cubes on hand for my bong water. We may be able to work this relationship out.
As I fucked him you stood outside my door screaming, "I'M NOT JUDGING YOU!" over and over.
I was judging you.
Hold on I'm doing something revolutionary that blossomed from a high idea
i had a long naked conversation with the cop on why is everything fun illegal
I had to talk to the cops at my front door in a bathrobe, with the buttplug still in.
WHY IS FOOD SO DELICIOUS
BECAUSE SCIENCE
She still didn't believe that he would cheat on her so I finally said "how else would I know that his batman mask is still in the back of his car from halloween?" I think she accepted it
I survive off of bourbon and the tears of others only
I apparently tried to wax off my nipples.This explains the pain
Randomize
