this is the 21st century. you drunk fuck him and then go on a date.
I'd rather say I'm a whore then admit it's his child. Its that bad.
I'm skipping the 'hey, how are you, I have to pick up something pointless at your apartment' excuse and just telling you I'm coming over to fuck.
It's totally ok to sleep with him. The only place I have feelings for him is in my vagina.
I'm thinking blowjobs and wheelchair sex should be part of any post-injury wellness plan.
Would it be inappropriate to do a science fair project on whether the type of drunk a person is is determined by nature or nurture
dude you're not even a fucking science major
It was weird, because he kept shaking his head like he was motorboating me...but on my vagina.
Next time I feel awkward in a situation I'm going to just yell "free bird!!!!" Like some redneck at lynyrd skynyrd show
I am going to be so excited tomorrow when I find this box of crayons in my purse
SCOTCH AND CIGARS AT THE TITTY BAR. YOU ARE COMING WITH US.
I am literally this close to screaming out my window if anyone nearby was down to fuck. I am too damn horny.
Why would you keep yourself in a sharting situation
It's scary that my vibrator is a dangerous weapon. I want a new one.
You just kept telling everyone to call you MFT.. Mother Fucking Tornado.
Apparently during my blackout I walked over to Troy, grabbed my crotch, and said “Eat Fresh” while his GF was with him. FML
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