you know what i hate about salt? you can't see it.
So ignoring my calls doesnt work if you update your facebook a minute later.
I'm jammin out to some Brit Birt, she's still my bitch, I love her crazy ass
sometimes i wish i could just stick a turkey baster up there and suck out the blood
I just had sex on a bear rug. My life is complete.
I woke up to his gay cousin telling me I had the prettiest boobs. I don't even wanna know.
I'm looking for mother nature. And when I find her, I'm looking her right in the eyes and telling her to fuck off.
You should hear the lecture my mom just gave me about cooking pizzas when im drunk because "I could have died".
He pushed a skinny white blonde out of the way just to tell me "you have the finest ass, like ever."
I have never loved a nerdy white boy this much.
Get drunk. Masturbate to his picture. Fall asleep. Repeat. Fuck summer.
All he gave me was a sore vagina and film suggestions
I mentioned the porn thing he mentioned a brother it all kinda just came together
I think my moral compass just broke
Love it. I wish you see me right now. I'm counting cash on my bed with no shirt on, beauty and the beast sound track on blast. Fucking creepin it up.
She made kool-aid with tequila instead of water and rolled a blunt about the size of an Oscar Mayer hot dog. Best blind date I've ever had. I think I will love her tell my dieing day!
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