I have started doing my homework in bars. It just feels right.
I have another pimple on my ass cheek.
I'll be there in 10 minutes.
She fell asleep on the sidewalk and people starting using her as a hurdle
If I buy you $300 worth of popeyes, will that make up for me trashing the house?
It was the most graceful puke ever. I just thought she dropped something underneath the bar until she told me what happened.
They wouldn't let me go to sleep at the police station while I was waiting to bail u out. YOU OWE ME
it wasnt a pity fuck per say. i wasnt attracted to her, but still thought 'that looks like a fun ride'
How do I discreetly dispose of sex toy packaging that is recyclable? What to do...what to do?
Vodka drinking games. Where you wake up next to a douche lord and see your thong in the blinds.
I almost drank vegetable oil. Where were you? I needed you.
Do you know how hard it is to give a bj in your dead grandmothers car
My apartment is so clean right now, I should invite someone over for sex just so someone can see how clean it is.
Dude, you got arrested for trying to direct traffic with your dick....
She was crying and pulled the collar of her shirt up to blot the tears. And then she just kept her head there. And stopped crying. "My boobs are just too amazing for me to cry." her words not mine please help she's still in that position
Somebody broke the sliding door, and someone ripped the toilet seat off the toilet. So yeah, pretty typical friday night
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