Spring semester is just not the same w/o you
dude i dnt kno how, but i think theres a tampon in my butt
i just yelled "run, its godzirra!" to an asian kid who looked confused by the tornado alarm test
Ya know, in a round about way coinstar is just a glorified vending machine for all my bad choices.
any interest in drunk sledding later? if not, any interest in driving me to the hospital later?
What do you mean how did you end up there? You told him he had a face you'd like to ride, that's a deal sealer in any language.
He kept dropping hints about giving me crabs. Like he called my pubes a nest and said he "hoped there weren't any eggs in there."
He rode a broom down the stairs while we were mattress surfing. Naked. Buck ass naked. WTF
thought the power was flickering out but it turns out im just blinking
Hey texans ride hard. He should have known what he was in for when I asked to sit on his face. The broken nose was a BADGE he just earned.
Do to my newly discovered condition I'm having to resort to emergency beat sessions to avoid the temptation to text girls I know are easy slams.
apparently my new 420 ritual is to look at the clock at 4:20 and realize i'm already too high
dude girls our age are getting married and having babies and I still can't figure out how to defrost my hotpockets
All she has to do is text me and my dick gets hard. It doesn't matter what it's about. Last text was about a homeless dude
andy told me i got kicked out of the bar and was so drunk i forgot and got back in line. the bouncer was zero impressed
Randomize
