i think guys who wear condoms are gentleman.
pretend to be my girlfriend and sign me up for tool academy
He said he's gonna start calling me "Benny" because we're "friends with bennyfits"
It's not my fault I help girls realize they're lesbians.
They don't exactly give out small business loans to start-up dealers
I'm such a fucking super-fan. I was worried his cum would wash away his autograph.
I didn't even have time to sit down and the nurse was like: ''You've been having unprotected sex.'' HOW DOES SHE KNOW?!?
I had this image of some guy in a taco truck down by the IMA accosting you for a peep show.
I'm just trying my hardest not to get addicted to drugs or pregnant and all your other friends are out there getting married
hey dude my crackhead idol just taught me a great way to tie shoes
I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date. I will not get drunk on our first date.
She gave you a handy in the bar and you were surprised she was good with a dick?
Hahah good point
Come over so I can fuck you louder than her country music
i was really depressed when i left the health dept this morning after i had to write a higher number next to "partners" than "age"
Woke up with a lip tattoo that says "fake news" in case you're wondering about my wellbeing
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