I had 4 margarita's and 2 mixed drinks and i blew zero's. Its a cinco de mayo miracle.
Thats the last thing I remember and then I woke up in this Dutch kids dorm and he was taking a picture of me while I was sleeping
This is so stupid. Now I have to call the party planner and tell her that the break up party is off. They decided to get back together.
You called me 32 times last night just to tell me you felt a heartbeat in your vagina?
Tell Chris I said sorry for yelling "It's my vagina, let me do what I want with it!" at the party last night.
I'm pretty sure "tag teaming" and "looking for stability" are not synonymous.
Not yet.
Just smoked pot with a guy who has apparently been living in the woods for over a month. He just walked out of the woods. This is not real life.
He held the beaver pelt from the fireplace over my crotch and asked his friend "she look familiar now?", he then remembered my name.
It was one of the greatest weekends of my life. And that's even after factoring in spraying myself in the face with the bidet.
yes and no. im drunk but idk if im "blow marcus" drunk. call in like an hour.
AND ONCE AGAIN, MY VAGINA HAS STRUCK AGAIN. HER PLANS TO TAKE OVER MARYLAND ARE WELL ON THEIR WAY AS SHE CONTINUES TO ENGULF EVERY QUEER IN A 10 MILE RADIUS
Holy shit dude........stairs
It got to the point where I was so drunk, playing rock paper scissors as a drinking game seemed like a good idea.
Was I just dreaming, or was there a corpse at work last night?
She was just sleeping.
Is it bad that I'm kind of disappointed by that?
Just deepthroated a hot dog. Thinking of you
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