lets hang out tonight and do stupid stuff.
Dating you for 6 months was stupid enough. But thanks.
...so i touched it.
i just walked into a room at this party and someone yelled "dibs!"...
He is drunkenly eating my teddy grahms and making little growling noises as he bites the head off of each one.
We met on a dual walk of shame. It has to be love, we can't let that go to waste. I want to tell our children that story.
Was I wearing clothes when I handed you your keys. Please tell me I was wearing clothes.
I'm doing it for my vagina. You should understand that
It's one of the many facets of my drunken alter egos. I'm like substance abuse batman.
its sad im about to start saving up for how drunk i need to be for the holidays
No, I know her type. Tall, lanky, uses teeth when giving head, and runs like a giraffe. Don't do it man..
There is a hole in her door about 2 inch in diameter. You may see me on YouPorn
I made out with an Italian cab driver. Not cool. Help. Good news he will drive us anywhere we want to go as long as you cook food?!?!?! I want to melt into the pavement.
I plan on blacking out and milking a cow
It's so hard to fall asleep when I can hear your genitals smacking against hers. I hate you with all the love in my heart.
Can i have the words "she went crazy and never came back" written on my grave?
Randomize
