It was just so hard to get through Conan without crying like a baby. I'm just so proud of him.
you might get a letter about the baby you put in me. i was mad when i sent it.
yeah that facebook group of people who have had sex with me probably isn't to discreet...
so i have my big date this weekend, and i was practicing giving head with a bottle in the shower. i stopped and looked at the botton of the bottle. it was PURE MOLD! if i die, dont tell the doctors how this happened....
why do our vaginas work when we are blacked out?? it's just not fair.
Studying for the exam.. Identifying the portraits using phrases like "large penis"
No we didn't have sex. I got my period on his finger.
why did your cousin post "out tonight" on facebook? doesn't he know it's only 1 in the afternoon?
shhh don't tell him. it's cloudy out and none of his clocks work
She was pretty drunk. It was like watching a puppy explore the world for the first time.
I was scared I had HIV after last time so I'm not gonna do it again
But he was really hot
Glad you don't have HIV
The fun I thought I would be having now when I was six is vastly different from what I am currently doing. Hurraaay sex and vicodin.
I'm resourceful. I forgot we don't have coca cola so now I'm drinking Jack & Dew or Mountain Daniels. Also, I haven't decided on an official name yet for this drink. I'm leaning toward Jack & Dew
Only you could go on vacation to visit family and hook up with a pro NFL player from Tinder
I passed out while searching "symptoms of narcolepsy"...
My mom said "I saw the signs you guys were high, so I made the spaghetti"....so ya, I'd say she definitely knew
Randomize