Dude that chick had her name tattooed in Japanese characters between her b-cups. I kept calling her Toyota.
We agreed on being friends w/ benefits. Lets see if that really happens.
Ok, so that was not supposed to go to u, my bad. I feel horrible.
I hope im prettier
yea, just so you know this whole self-loathing thing is getting pretty fucking annoying
how lazy do you have to be to be a fat vegetarian?
I literally made his dick bleed. How the fuck do you think it went?
You kept whispering, no one does me like Jimmy Johns does me.
THERE IS PRACTICALLY A BEER FUCKING WATERFALL
You were air-planing a joint into my mouth while I was crying naked in the bath tub.
Best Friends For Life.
No night ever ends well that starts with "you know what this needs? More tequila".
She tied her key to her bra the night before and couldn't get it off while trying to open the door this morning so she just took her bra off and let it tangle from the key while unlocking the door...the old Indian couple next door were shocked.
would it be uncouth to smoke a joint during office hours
This is why you're my favorite TA
He painted a swimsuit on me. Naked day at the lake was a success.
How do I convince my friend not to get tattoo tributes to her cats?
WHO DOES THAT
I told her it'd send up tons of red flags and she responded by telling me they're her babies. And she's sober.
I'm sobbing to NWA
There's no such thing as shame in your world, is there?
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