i just google searched 'can you pop your ovary'
it wasn't THAT bad but he definitely called his dick an asshole and said sorry to my vagina
i have my own cum on my nose right now. don't talk to me about "embarrassed".
He was having trouble staying hard then just stopped mid-sex and said "it's overheating" while pointing to his dick.
I just found my coat check number in my underwear.
Just got offered to exchange moonshine for manscaping services by a gay guy. I'm gonna have the smoothest back in St. Louis county.
I'll be there soon. I expect Advil and a bucket of kittens when I arrive.
it was good, but also weird. like, i came four times and then cried weird.
I found my soulmate. Behold my idiot as we spaz into the sunset.
She used my 100 Ways To Cope With Stress handout to wipe puke off her face
My aunt just dropped me off at the bar, handed me $50 and told me she'd pick me up later if I needed her to. I should've gotten my license suspended a long ass time ago lol
i believe in u and ur pee
yeah i'm making him "thanks for letting me befriend your toilet" cookies. wanna help? i'm sure you'll be making new friends too.
Currently eating a pop tart in my underwear waiting for the washer. Not one of my prouder moments.
One day when i undoubtedly need an intervention please let it include lightsabers.
I think I can handle that.
Randomize
