Booty call?
Dude you don't even follow my twitter
His was the first dick to ever be in my mouth... Of course I'm going to the wedding.
just joined the mile high club. if this plane crashes because of this text, it was worth.
I told him I'd have sex with him for fried cheese. Does that make me a hooker or just fat?
I'm buying you potatoes, the least you could do is not ask any fucking questions and just say thank you.
I promise not to drug you or anything. Please come to my birthday party.
I want you inside of me and on top of me and under me and behind me
Basically I need you to be like god, just fucking everywhere
i forgot to brush my teeth before I went over so i went to the bathroom and started eating his toothpaste. we're still in the early stages of fuckdom
All I'm saying is that any 24 year old guy who sends me a snapchat from the vantage point of his dick with the caption "hiding behind my weiner" is off my list potentially dateable guys.
It just makes me feel nauseous. And I don't want to feel nauseous when all I really want is to get off.
He wanted to watch the vow, cuddle, and not have sex. An upgrade is in order.
He got in a shopping cart outside of home depot and insisted we push him down a flight of stairs. For science.
Did I send you a drunk selfie with a pine tree last night?
So in my DUI class I had to write down 3 people I'd call if I needed to talk and why...they all want to meet you now...
As much as my throat was opened up this weekend, you'd think I wouldn't nearly choke on a damn almond.
Randomize
