You unbuttoned your shirt and started walking down the center of the road screaming traffic stops for Enrique Iglesias.
We have a hundred jello shots. Lines will be crossed.
My god. His mom just smacked my ass. Does this mean I'm accepted??
You might have crossed the line by jerking off while she was in the bathroom taking a prego test. Just saying
Gina was bawling her eyes out and then she ran into the street and peed. she kept screaming "LOOK WHAT YOUVE DONE TO ME"
Whenever I walk away from the group without saying anything, NEVER assume I'm just going to the bathroom.
They took my balls.
I used to think not drinking while I was pregnant was not gonna be a problem, but I now I'm like shit that's a long time
Can you help me get ready before work? I need a look that says I'm-happy-to-help-but-I'm-hungover-so-leave-your-attitude-at-the-door-because-I'm-not-taking-anyone's-shit-today.
I've been eating like all day, let me suffer my one 'Dear lord, I'm the size of a small whale. One that doesn't even need to find being killed by illegal whaling because I'm not even big enough to provide an decent blubber, but still big enough to be considered for a brief moment.' moment in peace.
we just talked about our morning and what we were doing for the day and he handed me the addies and i took $50 out of my bra in front of a bunch of frat guys. so the mornings going really well
I want a battle ostrich, get me a battle ostrich and then come and make love to me
Yeah, I'm just gonna try to repress that and remember him for his big dick and perfect jawline.
MY MOM WALKED IN WHILE I WAS EATING THEM OUT AND STARTED ASKING US ABOUT THE PROJECT RUNWAY EPISODE WE WERE WATCHING EARLIER
Through a complicated series of events, I wound up in the desert with a blue chick from comic-con. we lost peter. if you're alive, please come get us.
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