her boobs were like sundried tomatoes..
shape ups are the best shoes to wear when youre stoned. its like walking on little trampolines every step.
Oh eartly, In cocy youtu youchv make the wallflowers d tskunks!y, couch protection now,.sryou should feel special !
And I'm still awake, and you left me. Like the guy on Jurassic Park, that jumped out of the car expecting me to save myself while there is a man eating T-rex ready to tear my ass apart except theres a mathematician and paleontologist there to save me because they are bad asses.
It's a strange mix of shame and pride every time I pee at the bar and still see my lipstick on the bathroom wall...
You forget how awesome toilet paper is until you have to wipe your ass with a piece of notebook paper...
I'm at an awkward stage of not being able to tell if I wanna keep having fun or if I need to die in bed
Tomorrow after you go to the library to look up gay porn, I'm going to come to your apartment to paint a nude portrait of you. Get pumped, plopernickle.
Then, right before he came he said "I want to buy you so many things!" What the fuck?!
I should be done at 8 and I've also done a great Job of convincing my self that I should get really drunk tonight
WHAT IS WRONG WITH YOU
MANY MANY THINGS AND MOST OF THEM ARE YOUR FUCKING FAULT
If you get me a sex toy for Christmas everyone in my family will question our relationship.
He drove over an hour to get this shit done. I guess i win the golden vagina award tonight
Fuck you and fuck your stupid hat
New rock bottom. Woke up at 7 am fully clothed in a bathtub full of water. I hate myself.
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