Who has a tranny cab driver? I have a tranny cab driver.
Omg. Never. Take a laxative the day you are going on. A date.
Question: If I woke up with one eyebrow mysteriously missing, do I shave the other one to match?
She wrote me a poem titled "Penis Flower" and it wasnt a joke
My RA just gave me tips on how to have discreet shower sex. Were we that loud?
it's like i need an invisible sign across my boobs that says "DOESN'T HAVE DADDY ISSUES" that only old men can see
For my job application I just put "community gardener- personal business" for my previous work experience in place of the neighborhood pot grower/distributor
Just had a stripper snatch my glasses off my face with her ass
I really want to know why half of my kitchen floor is missing.
Right, well, that begs the question of where did you get the whip, why are you using it, and why don't you carry one around more often?
I was sleeping pretty good until your cat pooped loudly. I dreamed that a full grown man was pooping on my ear. It startled me.
Dont judge the spank bank, just be happy that you were deposited there.
I'll tell you that it involved a pair of pliers and a trip to the ER.
I demand a full explanation right now.
STOP BUYING ALADDIN PANTS WITH MY AMAZON CREDIT CARD
I think I'm gunna glue a sign to my head that says "WAKE ME UP BEFORE 7!" And go to sleep and hope a kind passer by wakes me up for my exam .
Randomize
