i found a dude playing guitar on the portapotty
how am i supposed to spank it to a shakira video when she looks like she is doing the robot?
Everytime I think about NYE, my gag reflex kicks in.
when she asked me if it was possible to swim under north america i knew it was time to leave.
A 12 year old Canadian kid said I was a pussy for only buying a 28-pack. I fit in better in this country.
She started crying. I don't think she's gotten head from a sax player before.
You need to stop having girl talk with the guys I'm sleeping with.
If Dave says he's going to have sex with her, he's going to fuck her retarded and turn her crazy. So run.
I try new drugs instead of new boys. That way you can't scold me about the importance of condoms
I'm dressed in all sequins still at 9:30 in the morning and the worst part is that I actually still fit in in Vegas
Who doesnt want to be Yoda? I mean seriously, how sweet would that be? Live to 400, not give a shit about love and all that, know fucking mind tricks and smoke awesome swamp weed. I'm down.
I haven't even sucked a boob is 6 weeks I hate not college
YOU IS KIND. YOU IS SMART. YOU IS IMPORTANT. YOU IS CLEANING YOUR OWN VOMIT.
I just accidentally deep throated a popsicle in front of my parents
I'm not gonna swipe right, he has better hair than me. Just no.
Randomize
