watching espn. realized that the exact place those sportcenter guys are is where I got laid on the beach last superbowl. my sex spot is broadcasted nationwide
my voice of reason is faarrr too drunk for me to listen.
just found $310, wrapped in a rubber band, at the bottom of my sock drawer with a note attached stating, "Make it rain".
Doing blow at 6am to "wake myself up for clinicals" was a baaaaad idea
don't judge, it's breakfast wine Wednesday.
This is the second time in a week I've woken up with your bra in my bed and I've had to sit and think about how it happened.
So how much of last night are we going to pretend never happened? Enough to stay friends?
The closest thing to a sext that you will ever receive from me is a picture of pepperonis on Greg's asscheeks, clenching.
He told me I was his first American. I feel like I should've brought a flag to plant on him.
People will call it the Wrath of the Froyo. We'll be immortalized.
YOURE ABOUT TO SEE SO MUCH UNCIRCUMCISED DICK
Appreciate the offer but I'm a huge fan of penis
My good Christian morals say no, but my complete disregard of anything related to religion says yes
I'm always down for nudity.
I think I'm the first girl to break a bed with a guy, without even having sex with him while doing so.
Randomize
