I heard we made out
they thought it would be fun to get out their yearbook and see who hooked up with the most guys..I won...I don't even go to the same school
I wonder what it would be like to masturbate in space
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
i need a new camera phone. my pictures from last night are as blurry as my memories. and neither tell me why i woke up in an airplane hangar.
I interrupted her conversation with, "are we gonna fuck yet?" and she immediately got naked. thanks for the blind date
we flagged you as soon as you tried to put the lime in the microwave to prove it was really a kiwi. again.
He said bow chicka bow wow. I never thought being sexually degraded would be such a turn on.
Grandma can hear your bong from the living room, please be more quiet. Love mom.
The straight guy here is hot. He described himself as Christian grey without the money and my vagina fell out of my body
How is it that I, the only one that didn't drink last night, was the only one puking out the car window?
You can't talk like Dr. Evil to me five minutes after the greatest orgasm of my life.
You know you're drunk when you have to be picked up out of a bathtub.
No bra. No panties. Makeup from last night. At work right now. I am trash.
He made me cum 3 times, then immediately after sex packed a bowl and passed it to me. Yeah.. I'll keep him.
Randomize
