Did you draw a mustache on my drivers license picture??
they started a semi-successful rumor that toby keith died. who says fraternities don't have goals
She bought a fucking hedgehog. And that's just the tip of the crazy iceberg.
Today as a vday present for myself I am walking in between any couples I see on campus.
I am NOT getting arrested in a wig.
well the blowjob for study guide exchange was a success.
I just hit on a guy in a doughnut store... is that too suggestive?
I want to tell you your future: you're going to be having sex
my roommate was being a bitch so I changed my Netflix password on her. 21st century slap in the face ladies and gentleman
Oh my fucking god, I was conceived on the first date.
Shooting a bottle rocket from my penis was entirely justified. Twenty bucks is twenty buck no matter how you look at it
WHY DID I MAKE A 7 minute video of me eating crackers and cheese when I was high
Send it to me
Random boy motorboated me, handed me a business card congratulating me on my motorboat, winked and walked out with some other girl
Find him and marry him.
I swear to God...this day is one great big who's who in the land of fucked uppedness.
He is farting the alphabet right now. In the goddamned restaurant. You don't get to recommend men anymore. Or restaurants for that matter.
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