wooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooooo
ooooooooooooo i'm drink
What the hell do I have to do to get some foreplay around here? This sucks.
I think you know the answer.
How can I marinade myself in Vodka?
why is there a handicap sign in the bathtub and an exit sign in the kitchen?
lets deal with that after we figure out where i am
Just saw some airport workers running through the terminal with liquor bottles. That's my kind of emergency.
just ran into a kid I used to hook up with while wearing his shirt. Only me. I tried to pretend like it wasn't his but it said his name on the back so I wasn't winning that.
i'm not entirely sure that 'not getting kicked out of the bar until it got dark' really classifies as 'doing better'
i just traded 2 rolls of toilet paper for half a water bottle of vodka. i love college
I didn't plan on sleeping with him until he told me his mom is deaf.. Then I felt bad.
Watching videos from last night and u go "I should be the president, I can get whatever I want w my tits"
New rule: I am no longer allowed to speak
You kept going up to guys in plaid and screaming "are you a lumberjack" in their faces
Well. No wine. And no real mixers. I'm using vodka and grape juice and calling it Slurrrlot. Happy Holidays bitch.
we didnt plan anything. just randomly met up in the park, both reached into our pockets and each lit up a joint without exchanging words. we're telepathic potheads.
I'm like going proud parent over you doing drugs, this is so wrong.
You drunkenly promised dick pics on your way out the door and then never delivered. I don't know how I'll ever be able to trust you again.
I don't care. We're going to fuck. And I WONT apologize in the morning. You cheated on me, so you can cheat on her with me.
Randomize
