I had a dream that the allstate guy hooked up with flo from the pregressive insurance commercials and she gave birth to the geico gecco. I need to stop taking ambian.
Some milfs here doing some blow
Dad?
critical mistake not lubing the nipples
whoooo knowwsss what george of the jungle juice is but i feel like im in the promised land
Blackout strip poker. Now. Bring flashlights because we found that candles are dangerous with nudity.
as soon as I stop standing here with one leg up on my bathroom counter admiring my balls, I'm going to go tan. and then you may come over.
So a sorority girl just introduced herself to me by saying "a guy I used to fuck just threw up on me" and then she grinded on me
Some guy just showed up at my door to return my bikini top. EXPLAIN NOW
Just found weed in my belly button. Happy Saturday!
There's a baby duck in my toilet. Fuck you.
There is a car windscreen wiper in my handbag... Not my car's, not ok.
I sent you a snap of me in the bath, and you sent me a snap of a taco. An actual taco.
there is something very satisfying about getting tacos after hours of sex.
There's a Japanese guy here dressed as a Viking who just screamed "wats up cocksluts" and kicked a guy in the face. come get me out of here.
What's a professional way to say get your shit in gear?
Randomize
