forecast for tonight- shitshow with a chance of tbell
my version of bright and sunny.
We tried to get a ride from the same firefigters that were turning off the fire alarm going off at our house.
Do you think royal wedding drunk calls for wine or tequila?
We made out while a LIT cigarette dangled out of the side of his mouth. Disturbing or slightly erotic?
Straight up if I get stuck with her I'm going to drink myself into a prison cell.
Then you jumped in the pool because your were convinced the scratches on your neck from the cat were gills and you could breathe underwater.
Are you two whores ready for me to turn the light on so you can see what you came home with last night?
Client visitor days are the worst. If I have to wear a tie and can be hungover at least have the decency to find some more attractive visitors
Prerry sure I narrowly avoided being tazed by a swat cop last night... But on the up side, we found my purse.
sigh, if only his dick was as big as his mouth
The first thing I did in 2015 was suck a dick.....so.....
YO. MCGRIDDLES.
Soooo I think my neighbor just saw me masturbating on my porch
2017 is gonna be explosive... Already watching fireworks out the window while shit my brains out. Happy Ew Year
You know what...ii have the turtles...were together....i love these god damn turtles...
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