I feel like death. Did you die last night?
Nope. Ready for round 2. Fiesta!
unreal. Greatest comeback since Jesus
ok, i just want to know who did it and which end it came out of
no dont talk to me..because of you my bar tab was more expensive than my hospital bill
Two people in the coffee shop I'm at are on a date and talking about how acid has affected them and the girl just mentioned meth. Fuck studying, this just got interesting.
if that's jizz on my steering wheel i'm gonna be pissed...and impressed.
I don't think he realizes it but he was stroking the faucet while he was talking to me.
I just called the on campus pharmacy and asked the pharmacist to tell me how each one of my medications will react with "excess alcohol consumption". And I'm not even ashamed...I've reached a new low.
also I woke up naked and covered in water but nobody can explain that part.
Ya I don't think I'm going anywhere, a cum towel, beer, and Vicodin was just exchanged in our white elephant present game
This amicable friendliness is dull. We either need to start fighting or fucking around. I'll even let you pick.
Drunk is not a location!
WHEN THE HELL DOES ANYTHING IN OUR LIVES *EVER* GO AS PLANNED???
My sister just poured me a dbl Ciroc on the rocks and said "the ice makes it festive." Honestly what a role model.
....I just did my boss
I love you. And I will hold your hand as we skip on the road to hell.
I know you do it only because of my toyota, but thank you for fucking me. Seriously.
Randomize