Goal for tonight: Make one last drunken mistake for the semester.
the ice cream truck is coming omgomg
dude, it's 2 am.
but its COMING
He has jerked off in so many socks I am surprised he doesn't have athletes dick
Remember that time we were in the handicap bathroom snorting Molly at the stripclub. That was a defining moment in our friendship
I have sand in every orifice, there are bruises everywhere, and I smell like a distillery. I love summer.
Beer vodka and pink lemonade powder mixed together. So. Many. Penises. My vagina will be calling out to them tonight. Coooooooooooooome.
Minus the pink eye. Do I look fuckable tonight?
So the night ended when we tried making fireworks out of gunpowder and oregano. You can figure out how that went.
Please come home, i don't want to feel like basket garbage girl but I'm in your alleyway and not sure how to change that.
Quick question. How did my clothes end up in your room on your bed and I end up outside your room naked on your couch?
I can't wait for you to tell me about your sex.
It's a short, short story.
Just go read my twitter... There's a play by play. It starts with a penis pump
Tackling and headbutting friends, running away and hiding from everyone, attempting to streak across campus, and then waking up with no sign of a hangover... happy 21 to me
I told the cops they couldn't arrest me until they found my shoe. Now I have the grant county cops looking for my heels by the rail road tracks.
FUCKIN BIRDS ARE CHIRPING AT 4 IN THE MORNING. THE SUN ISN'T RISING YET MOTHERFUCKERS, GO BACK TO YOUR NESTS.
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