we were dressed as cave people and he kept telling everybody i was so easy a caveman could do it.
im contemplating emailing my dad and telling him how worthless i am and how sorry i am that he pays for my life...aka my bar tabs.
He kept waking up periodically throughtout the night to bit my ear and pass back out.
Lol I just left. He's funny and he's cute. Downside: he thinks he can outdrink us
I'm a male taking pregnancy tests with every girl at the party. i have no regrets
I'm pretty sure I have enough material at this point to start a blog called Guys I've Banged in Pictures together. Why does this keep happening to me!
and here comes the time of my day when I haw to convince a guy to drive my cape and my handle to my dorm.
Wake your sexy ass up. It's donut time.
I'm drunk and I have your birth certificate
He started yelling terms of endearment at a cheese sandwich. Then he tried to hump it.
I know where his drugs are but not my pants
Don’t fucking talk to that dude from monday!! Ethical consumption dude, don’t fuck shitty guys
thanks for passing me through your vagina 20 years ago today. your the best
Side piece definitely knows about my GF. Said it was sexy when I go commando, then left me pantsless in the club bathroom
I’m going to hump him until his teeth hurt and then I’m going to have my way with him
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