Dude she has a bf and shes on lockdown more than Nelson Mandela in 95
did you ever find your cell phone? and your dignity?
Terrible. Enormous nipples with a small ring of boob on the outside. It looked like a tittie eclipse
LMAO!!! just remembered you said this to me last night. "sometimes you post too many Jesus tweets. It's not that that's really bad... But I roll my eyes and you should know that."
I was drunk but it's true
I may or may not have just visibly given him head in front of three young children and their mom. They all looked mortified.
I think we should make a list of challenges so that when stuff like that happens, we can check it off. Like a scavenger hunt for hoes.
i have to get rid of the hedgehog.
Does it come with a cage?
yes. and food and toys.
i'll trade you an 8th for it
deal.
also, add "teaching boys to sext" to my charity work
I've been buying my puppy dildos for chew toys. I can't wait till a girl comes over and my dog is gnawing on a giant black cock
We have so much sex to catch up on
Totally forgot I asked the cop for a theoretical fist bump and he still let me drive away
List 10 things your GF won't do for you, and we can work through that list.
She sent me a thank you card for not fucking her boyfriend...
The bouncer said the club was at capacity we couldnt get in till ppl left all three of them pulled their tits out we got complimentary bottle service never under estimate women
april was a good month for me, sexually...doubled my number, had a threesome, fucked a girl for the first time and two different boys in one night. there should be a medal
ok, muffins say "love me", waffles say "fuck me", got it.
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