its been so long since i'vebeen laid i've forgotten what a penis looks like. When a guy makes me hot i picture him finishing the job by whipping a multi-setting showerhead out of his pants.
That should be a holiday. like easter. but bulges instead of baskets
I am drinking ovaltine with peppermint schnapps. My childhood could have been so much better.
omg kevin jonas gave his bride a glass slipper..could he be any gayer then he is now
he is so gay. he makes clay aiken look straight. what is wrong with the lady that married him? kevin must be envious of her balls
an unopened bag of salt and vinegar chips... probably the best thing I've ever found in my room while high.
I just heard someone say "gosh-darnit" and they didn't have a southern twang. I worry for New York.
he came on my stomach, took his sock off, wiped it up, put his sock back on along with his shoes and left.
Breaking hearts and overdosing on semen. That's my life.
He wouldn't let me go down on him. He stopped me and told me he was a giver.
yes i am an adult who snuck out of my parents house to cuddle with a guy and then came home and listened to taylor swift. judge me all you want.
She introduced me as that girl Nathan was fingering
You just kinda wondered into the street and started screaming at dogs and small children...
How do you teach a grown ass men how to fuck? Why is good sex so hard to find these days?
I just remembered that I totally burped into someones mouth when we were making out. I was really smooth about it so he didn't notice.
At Target. Everyone is stocking up on food and flashlights for this storm. I stocked up on beer. Dont judge me, it was on sale...
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