i felt like we were having sex on ultimate fighter, and people on the outside kept yelling ELBOW ELBOW! KNEES KNEES!
ok 1 i realized people actually live in central wisconsin and 2 culvers could be a good place to pick up chicks today
I fucked the bump it out of her hair. just had to let everyone know.
Just checked my phone. Sometime last night I googled sex positions in a tent. Was there even a tent there?
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
i wish it would rain vodka just once. i have not puked yet bring it on
Tis the season to puke in grandma's bathroom
Well for better or worse the home brew is almost done, want to get drunk/loose your sight tonight?
Please tell me you've ingested more than weed and Oreos today
Right now he's sitting in the chair pointing to me to go away. He's trying to have quiet time with his penis.
I swear to all that is holy, next time you get my mom high with your "special bake sale" I am going to put your dick in the blender.
He had a drawn-on fu manchu and now my vagina has one too.
you got in a fight with your imaginary friend last night when he didn't catch you after a surprise trust fall
You came into the club around midnight with a carton of tropicana o.j. & said you were starting a revolution.
I couldn't find my contact solution so I thought mixing toothpaste and water would work
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