so they are in my phone as twin 1 and twin 2. but i forget which is which. did i put them in order of who I hooked up with first, or who is sexier? cause i'm not trying to text the one with the girlfriend
1st off, theyre identical. 2ndly, have i ever told you that youre a huge slut? hope that helps
i'm crying at olive garden. i've hit rock bottom
you will always have a special place in my vag
The only piece of furniture in the apartment is a wine rack.
Your dad's facebook is ejaculating midlife crisis all over my minifeed
The sex was so good I went temporarily numb. Slightly embarrassing when she pointed out I was kissing my own arm.
I would have screamed and cried and bled and shit and then died. Fuck that guy.
You then showed up downstairs in only a robe, telling everyone how you were "the most chivalristic fratstar ever."
Mm. I just want to eat pancakes off of his fine ass.
You came home with a traffic cone and said, "this is my birthday condom."
What alcohol should i drink Saturday to completely hate life?
I just thought you should know.... I am fully committed to being a ho this summer
YOU LICKED MY MAKEUP OFF.
I got pull-out-my-nuvaring-drunk last night.
you were making out with a girl because you told her you were part of Nsync
Randomize
