is her vagina suppost to smell like dirty taco bell?
Being drunk at the hospital is better than i expected. I got to hide and play in the little kids waiting area. Btw no one is hurt
just tried to puke while my RA was trying to puke in the stall next to me.bonded for life
Bought two parrots for us. I'm keeping them at the Bellagio.
You're either a hooker or Beyonce. Beyonce is abnormally good at doing everything in heels
I just contemplated drinking cheese dip. And by "contemplated," I mean "attempted and was forcibly stopped from."
you were telling us about the time you had sex in an alley and he stopped, looked up and said 'it was a cul-de-sac' and went right back to what he was doing.
Just had a VERY VIVID visualization of wrapping a pizza around my cock and fucking its brains out. Soooooo less weed more dates?
I mean, how am I going to build a relationship on trust if he finds out I roofied him?
He's all enlightened and liberal. My next beefcake will be much more Neanderthal.
Why was I lying under a truck last night?
If I die tonight, you and your brother can split my money evenly for college only.
all $38?
I just put on the jeans I was wearing last night and pulled 4 baby carrots out of my back pocket....
I woke up remembering only that I got pulled over by a cop, then looked over and found that same cop, naked.
I just asked Geoff what he is going to do because Hester left he said he was going to have gay sex with America.
Randomize
