hey dude i know youre in the next room but me and your sister need a condom, got any i could borrow?
I saw a chick at 8 am this morning walking back to my dorm wearing wings... I'm kind of jealous.
there's a wrestler here in a Ferrari//puma hoodie who is telling girls his win//loss record as a pickup line.
But sometimes ur dick treats me better than u do
People are handing out olympic condoms downtown, just put it on and it broke, this is how there trying to raise the population. Very sneaky canadian government, very sneaky
I had never watched a guy jack off to me before, but let me tell you, it was a very uncomfortable experience.
Is it wierd that you're going to be my best man and you've fucked my wife?
Stoned ambition #8. Must learn sign language.
he seriously made his penis a facebook.
his phone is always ringing though. It makes me feel like I'm dating a doctor who's always on call.
yeah, dating a doctor sounds much better than fucking your drug dealer.
The guy you hooked up with is asleep in the tub. I just pee'd and he said 'turn off the tap' before snoring again.
Sorry bro I thought you were kidding. If I'm actually jerking off I usually said "Just a sec getting dressed" or something
I don't think this guy is worth it unless he's a skilled sexual amigo
I have an aggressive hickey on my shoulder and it actually hurts.
Next time I pee on a car, I'll text you.
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