i think ur clone was at the club last week. she slapped some tall girl in the face who tried to steal her spot on the podium. i dont know if ur like her, but she seemd like a ninja badass with superpowers
why is jon gosselin on the news 24/7 for dating some new lady?? how bout I get on msnbc for not getting laid since forever ago
the ex, the guy i cheated on the ex with and the rebound are about to form a beer pong team at my party. is it bad i feel accomplished my pussy brought their union together?
I am downstairs in the bar now having a beer...actually I ordered two beers and placed one across from me in front of an open chair. I did this for appearance sake, so nobody knew I was double fisting all alone. I'm getting hungry now. I'm thinking of ordering two meals just to keep appearances up.
If I weren't her cousin I'd take advantage of her and this low point in her life.
Let's just say my vagina is not superimpressed with the superintendent of schools.
She just kept introducing me to people by telling them which of their friends I've fucked
It's not ok to announce to a group of people playing beer pong that a girl put her finger in your butt last night. I now know this
Apparently it's illegal to hit pedestrians with coke cans... But the cop complimented my arm. That's a win in my book.
He deadlifted me and I came just a little at the apex
I'm just sitting here drunk and eating peas because my life sucks
No I will not paint you for Mardi Gras in town. It is going to rain and you don't need another ID charge
I banged a marine last night. No wonder everybody respects them.
the teacher told me he was disappointed and when I asked why he just shook his head. remember that kid that caught us having sex behind the school? pretty sure that was his son.
Whoever was the bastard/bitch/genius who duct taped my keys to my dick so I wouldn't lose them. I hate you.
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