The dr is doing well, he randomly asked if I was bi
I really need to stop carrying a flask around with me in my backpack at school..
Aren't you in 8th grade?
9th, but that's not the point.
i failed horribly. studying for that final was as pointless as Vinnie is to Jersey Shore
im vomiting on the 4th floor cause no one knows me there
oh my god i just remembered the cat blow jobs.
Can we please just celebrate being alive this far into the school year and just get drunk?
I've decided to be proactive and make a sex playlist on my phone to avoid any awkward moments in my upcoming slutty summer
We could be the people that go there! Shuffleboard n shit. Meet strippers.
You had me at shuffleboard and strippers
I just puked my brains out on the side of the road (see picture) And I took a picture for our scrapbook! I am always thinking! =) tell me your proud?!
Just saw the german running around on campus. Thought of his small penis.
As you should.
Lets play hurricane shelter. And the shelter is my bed, and we forgot our clothes.
I woke up to a full mcdonalds meal being shoved in my face. Mom mustve noticed the empty tequila bottle. I love family.
Opening beer with my teeth is getting easier the drunker I become.
It turns out my teeth are bleeding.
I literally walked into the toilet, looked at my reflection, said "alcohol" and went back to bed...
You can't be mad... I'm letting you jerk off in my parents shower
Randomize
