508, what difference does it make? You were alone, anyway.
I am swimming in semen. He must have been holding it in for a special occasion.
her underwear stopped being sexy when i saw her pubes sticking out of the top.
He kept trying to order 'sex on the tennis courts' for a drink last night
She just tagged pictures of you wrapped in the "above the influence banner" like a toga.
The forecast for tonight is alcohol and low expectations.
You're the only meteorologist I listen to.
He tried to tell me that he could handle his liquor better than "all the bitches in this town." AS HE THREW UP. ALL. OVER.
she's fucked both of my roommates but not me. i feel like I'm not part of the group anymore
So many weird people in this class. I can practically taste their unwanted virginities. They taste bad.
My boyfriend told me that I said I wanted to "feast on her vagina"... Glad I don't remember.
I think you're my feminist conscience sometimes.
Sorry I've been a slutty nightmare this week
i feel like if we ever had babies together they would just be drunk all the time
I'm still drunk, my mom is throwing up, and there is a random Irish guy out getting our house breakfast right now. Wednesday's are my bitch.
Dude. So. Much. Sex. Find a girl in her 30s. Now.
Randomize
