I dint menn to makr ut w brtendr
Wat???
U lft me at bar, no cassh for cab, may have slept with bartender
This is getting serious. I keep forgetting what's in my vagina.
Woke up on the floor with my glow stick in one hand & dollar bills in the other. Good. Morning.
I can't get a boner in the bathroom of a buffet.
Hes the only one i know who can talk to a girl for an entire hour abuot the science in starwars and still get laid.
Just found a 7-11 receipt for new years eve at 1:30 am apparently we felt the need to buy three jars of pickles and a gallon of milk does this ring any bells?
When I like her vacation photos, it really means "Im sleeping with your boyfriend." wonder if she will make the connection.
Dude I reek of $2.50 pitchers, $1 off/pack marlboro cigs, and fear.
Fear?
FEAR.
Be careful. Don't drive if your body turns into a caterpillar again.
I don't remember anything that happened last night past 10.. I made him buy me a Buckeye's Donut tshirt. I have no idea why he'd want to fuck me after that.
Bro she gave me the stare. It's like she boned me with her eyes. I'm going in.
When did angry sex become our thing?
I sent her a video on Snapchat of me cumming, with a Father's Day snap filter that said "#1 Dad".
i just saw a man in the grocery, sitting on the floor, eating out of a galon sized tub of macaroni salad. We need to get on his level.
its not much but to go through all that to ask for half a balls worth of money was so stressful
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