marko just referred to some fat asian and a portly friend as Jupiter and one of its moons. unreal. hyte!
ugh, today is just one of those 'get high before your 8am class' days.
Don't tits with veins remind you of road maps?
On the airplane today the pilot actually said "Ladies and gentlemen I'm sorry for the delay. But I know all of you have problems, and so do we..."
I mean, I know going to rehab probably didn't make her a lesbian, but I can always hope
We ran out of wine so we are trying the absinthe you brought over from Spain like 3 years ago. Please call me at noon tomorrow. If we die, its your fault
It started out just like any other night: was watching a Zach Effron movie, drinking tequila out of a water bottle. I don't understand how this got out of hand.
Right... Let's keep my vodka tinged mind focused on simple words
Your "dubstep at ceilis" resulted in a random naked guy busting into my room and peeing all over my bathroom
Definitely got a blow job in Charles Schwab's bed last night.
I love my job.
He sent me nudes and then a text asking if I tried the new Cantina Bowl from Taco Bell. He sure does romance right, doesn't he?
I need to immerse myself in a tub of peroxide to kill whatever traces of him are on me.
For some reason she gave me a handjob. It was all very confusing
i got drunk and started dancing with the plant because you were out of town
It was very surreal. They were listening to a religious podcast on morality while they both went down on me.
Randomize
