You would think that an uncircumcised man would understand how the hood of a clit works.
that awkward moment when your booty call gets snowed in at your place.
Security said no more parties of this kind. To me that translates to Theme party this weekend.
Just abandoned him for a bowl of soup and the living room floor...hope the window replacement guys don't get a show..I miss you!
I'm wearing your poncho, and only your poncho. I'm not getting pulled over like this.
I just crawled out of bed at 5AM to make her a peanut butter and Nutella sandwich. Somewhere in the distance, I could hear whips cracking.
I lost all of my bathing suit tops.. This is both a success and a failure
So to add to headbutting the microwave while waiting for my hot pockets to cook. I apparently told both bartenders earlier in the night I was going to fuck them both. I hate black out drunk me..
If I just skip sleeping, does hangover still happen? Gonna try it. Will report back. StTAND BY
You know darned well I have a well-documented weakness for redheads, Subway and hand-drawn graphic novels.
Do you feel better now that you've sent me a picture of your dick?
Yep.
Why are you drunk at the library?
Why not?
Rarely does a man I fucked with upgrade from me
Regardless I WANT TO BE YOUR SEX DISPENSARY. that is like the career I was born for.
So i woke up on a park bench... Using my shoe as a pillow, cuddling a empty handle of vodka... Yet I'm still in my living room. Someone please tell me why all my vodkas gone? I'll deal with the park bench situation at a later time.
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