Gonna get hammered and start online dating men in prison. But... only the ones who get out within two years.
Girl's gotta have her standards.
It was all fun and games until Tim shit on the end table
Oh it's happening. I'm Chugging a beer while sitting next to a 6 year old
We can't bring brittanys dog so we are getting high and getting in my bathtub I think it's pretty safe
so... the fat chick just walked over, shook my hand, then introduced herself as "versatile". shoot me now.
I was fine until "Under Pressure" came on the radio. It's like God wanted me to shit my pants on the drive home.
I have a friend that keeps saying he wants to go bear hunting. Thought I would say just walk down church street at night. What intersection is it?
You sucked a guys dick who's name was Chad and that wasn't a sign that it was a bad idea?!
I'm a college student and my dad gets more ass than I do..... do you see a problem here?
This feeling I'm having... is it love or a combination of alcoholism and unprotected rough sex
Thx for last night. I've never had so much fun while being told my life decisions are questionable at best.
Will u make me a "6 month anniversary of being single" cake??? I wanna celebrate
I'm just hitting the tip of the iceberg on accents for this trip...so basically my panties are done for.
You can come over but I have to warn you that it is naked Sunday.
You spent twenty minutes waxing poetic about her ass and her thighs
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