What do they do with the elephants that die at the zoo
Cremation, why do you ask?
I think we have a bit of a problem
dude smells like cheese burgers and loose women...... i want his life
I wish there was a non-hangover washing machine that I could stick myself in right now
He blow dried my hair while I sucked his dick. Now THAT'S fucking teamwork.
You are the only person I know who got away with wearing a turtleneck while getting laid. ONLY person.
Apparently, I kept going on about how i'm going to name my first born Ramen. I think this is a good parenting move.
I was too sleepy and drunk to verbally annihilate anyone and ruin their reason for being. So i just opted to sleep with the fitted sheet on the floor
YOU STOLE THE WEDDING CAKE?!?!
Only one tier
Tastes like cardboard anyway
Tequila is gods way of telling you don't fuck with tequila
All I know is I woke up with his business card in my bra and in my handwriting on the back it says 8 inch.
So after my hot dog popped out of the bun and fell to the ground I tried to pick it back up and eat it. He had to kick it away from me to stop me from trying to pick it back up and eat it. I like him.
Never admit to being cold at those things. That is how you end up waking up the next morning naked under animal pelts... or so I have heard.
I'm good. Got my nipples pierced and threw my back out. 🙌
I probably shouldn't be taking relationship advice from my side piece...
Haha I wasn't coming anyway. I'm watching Snow White and don't want to put pants back on. Those are completely unrelated. Have a good night.
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