my vagina is like the nba. its where amazing happens.
I was thinking about texting her and telling her I had syphilis when I was with her and that she should get tested. just for shits and giggles. skank dahaha
I don't understand why some guys want to have a huge conversation while standing at the urinal with cock in hand...
can you come get me at the bar
ill be there in 10 min
can we stop off at build a bear on the way home
you kept saying "no santa, im not having sex with you. it's not your holiday".
Houston, we have a squirter
HOW DID YOU GET DEPORTED FROM THE BAHAMAS
Plus I'm on the toilet and I can only describe it as if someone had kicked the cap off of a fire hydrant.
Do not tell me that that is not the face of a man who has sex with goats.
I just saw two homeless guys bond over the fact that they both use Crown Royal bags as wallets in Burger King.
Well.. If you trust a test that only costs a dollar, I'm not pregnant
Bring me a cialis. .. I feel like having a super dick today
So how do you explain to your boss that Siri called him mid sex?
he accidentally put it in my ass, i liked it but didn't tell him that and "accidentally" took his weed.
Just went grocery shopping with a vibrator in my purse and didn't even realize it. This is what Saturdays are made for.
Randomize
