i want to bang the Snorg tees girl.. shes always smiling ;)
DAMN! I hate it when i drunkenly erase all my "sent message" and wake up in the morning and my inbox is full of "WTF?" and "Huh?" messages.
I wonder if all of the nights I blacked out will be revealed to me when I die. Have you ever thought about that?
Yeah I had to push her down the hallway to the hotel room in a luggage carrier. The guy at the desk told me goodluck
passed a homeless guy with a sign that read "420 vetran" we gave him a bowl of bud
I elbow dropped a bag of ice to break it so we could make margaritas. I bled everywhere. Be proud.
Just hooked up with the fireman who put out the quesadilla fiasco last tuesday.
frozen drink friday is suspended until further notice
Road construction signs are deceptively heavy
Every time I drink before 5 somebody's pet dies
Stop drinking before 5
Easier said than done
When you get home there will be live fish in the bathtub. I did not put live fish in the bathtub.
hey remember that mom you brought home from the bar last month... she is currently driving me back to her place. turning my phone off now.
Yeah sorry about that. I got pulled into the Russian student society's end of term party. There was too much vodka and eurodance to come help you pack.
Do you think if 10 year old us knew that we would be passing out in a McDonalds after a hefty night of drinking, and 23 McChickens, they'd change anything?
I want falafel more than sex right now. That's really saying something for me...
Randomize
