I'm just sayin u wanted to sleep after ur paper. I can make u sleep
He better hope I dont die soon. Because I would haunt his bitch ass and cock block 24/7
Theyr drawing diagrams to try to explain to me how high they are
Im in search of the perfect penis, it would be unethical for me not to test run them.
Well I squeegeed the puke off your arm at the gas station
Hes stumbling drunkenly around the streets of New York with a balloon vagina on his head. I'd say hes having a good night.
We just leapfrogged all the way to the bar.
Is it cheating if its a threesome? This is more like a party game than infidelity.
I also have to vacuum the broken noodles out of my suitcase...
Woke up to a sex noise notice under my door...he gets a A+ for proformance and ill be seeing him again.
I screamed so bad because I thought he was going for my sandwich forgetting it was in my hand
Girl re-adjusts bra, no one bats an eye. I re-adjust nuts, everyone stares.
Holy fuck where did this cat tattoo on my ass come from
My brother is so high right now he's eating frozen peas and called them "fucking delightful"
My sinuses still burn from snorting red wine last night.
Randomize
