We may have a problem that even dr. phil cant solve
No. I still stand by my previous statement that nachos and tequila is the breakfast of champions.
he's having a long distance Facebook-coordinated power hour. the status update has 159 comments ...
I did my dad and i had to keep going back there to pick up coffee
please read the first 4 words of that text and consider punctuation
You crawled everywhere and rolled in ice cream. No more vodka for a month.
Drunk me cleaned my room for me. Needless to say our relationship has improved greatly
Maybe there is a secret pocket full of cocaine in that spiderman wallet.
A baby just tried to pull out his mom's huge tits at work today and nearly succeeded. I was silently cheering for the little guy.
He got me a cake that said " Congratulations on the dick "
Just had empanadas for breakfast while watching Wall-e with my yesterday's one night stand mother AND grandmother.
THIS IS EXACTLY WHY YOU SHOULDA FUCKED BEFORE YOU MADE HIM YOUR BOYFRIEND, CURVED DICKS ARE NOT OK
I can't believe my vagina just got wished happy new year
false alarm, still single
imagine the bill from school house rock beating the shit outta you
So this ukranian guy got angry and took his clothes off. Now he has my credit card and I can't find my keys.
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