Yeh xou jao i ama wa7tdud !!
Oh my god. its not even twelve thirty and you are useless.
I was born with a shot glass in my hand
You got so drunk you kept singing the Sailor Moon theme song and kept making everyone call you Sailor Venus.
have you facebook stalked him yet?
No, I don’t know his last name...
Just google his license plate numb
I just saw a dude get out of an ambulance with nothing but wallabees on
i was trying to wake him up so i just kept touching his dick
This adderall has me convinced I'm an Econ major.
I seriously think my heart may fail. And I didn't even grab a toilet beer :(
We got to the second bar and all he kept saying was "I'm on an alcohol safari!" Best 21st birthday ever.
Wanna play whack-a-mole in my pants?
Your word choices worry me.
pssssst. you dropped everyone else off and forgot about me. im in the backseat of your car still. can you please come back outside and either let me out or take me home?
Ah, drunk me ordered sushi at 3 a.m. for sober me's lunch the next day. EXCELLENT
Not to play devil's advocate, but, considering how our species has evolved so far... I'm kinda rooting for the sun on the whole heat death thing.
But the real reason your aunt is drunk crying is because she has already had four margs and went for a 5th and someone is trying to stop her
Grumpy Cat is dead and fuck EVERYTHING.
Randomize
