No idea how I passed that sobriety test.
Hello, balls-out mistake. It's been a while.
you know whats weird about having a girlfriend....I look forward to masturbating now....sort of like quality me time.
I love the progression of these pictures. I go from cute to Courtney Love
Even DaVinci knew it was gay to draw the penis big. Thanks art history
He gave them shots of purell and called it "acid rain" jello shots. They took them.
I hate freshman.
He literally stopped in the middle of sex to look up sex positions on his iPhone...
I passed out on the floor of a truck stop. Drinking binge 2011 is now over.
And they were awkwardly all over each other in a Christian way.
Want to know what makes for a better story than treehouse sex? Getting busted during treehouse sex
I unknowingly motorboated my boyfriend's ex-gf last night. Yay me!
Only you could successfully troll for dick at a Hillel bake sale.
Dude I am a waste of space, I just febreezed myself so I could go out and get lunch
Fucking a younger guy is now a game of odds. The chance that he gives me corona virus is outweighed by the evening of orgasms I know he’ll give me.
You went after him with a sword while screaming “FAJITAS!”. And Todd was dressed as a Goth for some reason
Randomize
