I totally have a Rabbi on speed dial now. Keep it Kosher.
the couple across the street's about to bang. go get the popcorn and come join us.
after eating me out, he asked for something to drink. i gave him a glass of water and he said he needed something stronger.
is there a legit reason for the weird voicemail I got at 2:14am?all I could make out was 'help me' 'two hours' and 'toilet butt'. wtf did u drink.
I'm currently using two paint brushes as chopsticks to eat lasagna.... college.
I told her that I thought she needed an oral mammogram. With me being pre-med she bought it.
It wasn't random sex though, it was almost a relationship, built on lies and sex
Tinkerbell just flew up to me and tickled my balls. What the fuck did we smoke?
were you high?
When?
Actually just blanket yes to that question
We were licking ciroc off the poker table
Is cat milk safe for human consumption?
We thought it was a good idea to send a picture to our HS science teacher where she's smoking a joint and I'm holding a monkey, and he invited us to lunch. NEW LEVEL UNLOCKED.
I can't. I'm not drunk enough for this information.
The worst part about being a grammar Nazi is all the porn I skip over because the titles are misspelled
I'm only coming over if you have cocaine or a snickers bar
momentary stint on a second floor library computer...guy next to me snorted blue adderall off his notebook through a cut straw, i cant tell if this guy is my hero or just plain crazy...
Randomize