that drag queen yelled at him and touched me to make him jealous and said things like this is what a real man feels like. it was a thrill.
They should really pass out barf bags in church
EVERY baby cries during their baptism. It's like they know from that moment on their parents are going to make them do lame things like their first communion and stuff.
Helping high family members not look retarded is what family is for
tonight i'm making a christmas tree shaped shot pyramid
I think my penis and your vagina just became best friends last night.
I wish I could just thrust my cock straight into her new relationship.
he called AT&T to make sure that he had insurance before he threw his cell phone into the fountain.
i am way too old to be getting fingered at work
How bad does the situation have to be before its ok to attempt 'catastrophic event sex'?
merry christmas to all and to all I give the mystery rash.
All I've had today is a brownie and a shot of Jack, so you know. I'm doing ok.
It was less of a bar, and more of an abandoned basement that some people sell booze in.
Ugh why can't people just be grateful for my penis
I am praying to every god I can that he drank so much that he won't even remember me
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