Nice. Sry i missed. Also sorry that i pissed on my toothbrush last nite
Sink seemed easy target but balance was no good
I just woke up. In the port-o-potty next to our tailgate. an hour after the game started. explain.
i got a blow job in the bathroom during intermission at the hockey game. i'm pretty sure i made Canada proud.
yeah, i'm not. but i'm ready for free bjs. it's just hard to find women who will give me a beej while i'm sobbing uncontrollably
I don't believe u have enough text space to describe the dimensions of his penis.
This is God's way of telling me He loves me and wants me to be a cocktease.
Go forth my daughter and give blue balls to all who may gaze upon your tits.
he threw up in a solo cup, then washed it out and used it to play flip cup. Im not sure if thats resourceful or disgusting.
Just be aware that next year I will probably try to seduce you to avoid going to the gym
note to self: do not snort crushed up caffeine pills in the bathroom by yourself when ur super shit faced, ur face will fucking hate you in the morning.
We perfected the quiet ass slap during sex so his roommate wouldn't wake up.
well i don't know if 30 seconds is exactly a good time but at least he bought me breakfast
Chugging this bottle of Jim at the airport is proving more difficult than I imagined. TSA is not amused.
I don't trust him but hanging out with him might be fun
he's literally satan but yeah probably
The boob job was worth every penny just to see the expression of pure joy on his face the first time he saw them.
When my card got declined you bought the vibrator without me even asking. This is what friendship is.
Randomize
