i never knew gatorade would taste just as good on the way back up
i fucked her mom dude
there's something to tell the kids
she requested me as her brother on facebook.... biggest. letdown. ever.
they are using this drunk girl like a spin the bottle in the hot tub, whoever she lands on she makes out with.
I had sex on an exercise ball. The inevitable has occurred.
If this wasn't a work function my tits would be out already.
Somehow ed fucked carrie while purposely not saying a single word to her all night. He just nodded and smiled.
Would it have been easier if he talked to her?
Yeah, but i bet him he couldn't do it. Now he gets a free taco bell combo of his choosing.
he knocked a glass of water onto my bed and then said that he should get to sleep on the dry side because he was "a guest"
thats why a responsible adult always keeps some facial hair just in case they need to shave a hulk hogan mustache for midget wrestling...
I shit you not ... they just advertised a recruiting service for strippers at this concert.
The "don't have sex with him again" alerts you set on my phone just started going off.
Good. "Seriously, don't do it" should start in about five minutes.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I forgot that I'm high because of how high I am.
there must be tiny pirates in the freezer stealing our rum.
YOU GOT ME SO DRUNKK
i got me so drunk!
Randomize
