The dutch village is so much worse hungover. Fuck them and their wooden shoes.
why im i the only drunk person in the library?
gonna sleep on the stairs... to drunk to keep going up, way to drunk to go down, gonna find a comfy spot right here... its safer that way
For some reason I knew you were going to smell like strippers and burritos when I hugged you.
I dont feel as bad coming home this baked because I gave my 14 year old sister a no drugs talk last night.
All I know is she had me sitting on the kitchen floor with her little Pomeranian eating potato chips And shredded cheese. I don't even know dude. I don't even know.
It's official, I need to start putting my vagina's needs before my own.
We invited our waitress tonight to come too.... we told her she had lightning in her veins and in return she taught us a Texas Roadhouse dance so the logical next step was invite her to a kegger.
Sorry I just took 4 pills about 20 minutes ago so I'm feeling like a claw machine like people tell me were I need to go and what to do and I'm just like yes sir so I get the teddy bear but I set it on fire and it's kinda black on one side and there might be smoke coming off it.
Spider-Man is making out with Wonder Woman while Captain Kirk feels up Princess Lea. Nice to see nerd barriers broken down at Comic Con.
I stirred my drink with a butcher knife. His roomate keeps giving me dirty looks
Like what do you want from me
Xanax and full house Tuesday is now Percocet Sunday
I accidentally sent my dad a very explicit Star Wars fanfiction and he replied with "That was great!"
it's like my ID runs away from me when it knows it's time for me to drink
We’re leaving where are you
Hold on Toxic just started playing
Randomize
