is asking a girl out on a date while in another girls bed in poor taste?
Now that the olympics are over we have no excuse for getting belligerently drunk for nationalism every night.
I need to stop taking drags of other peoples cigarettes, it's such a tease. Like playing just the tip, you just can't
just stole 2 cases of forties from some freshman in the woods by pretending to be a cop. that ten dollar spotlight is really turning a profit
Oh we're fine. I made her a "sorry I peed on you" omelet.
wore my lacy blue thong that says "hello there" across the front today for my gynecologist appointment. I live to make people uncomfortable
You yelled "hold my dick" before you tackled the guy away from the dj and two random girls moved to actually hold it, then argued about it. I want that whore aura!
First of all, I don't like eggnog. Second of all too much rum is all bad. And thirdly I'm not there to sit in your lap and pretend you are Santa and I've been a bad girl.
I never thought that it would get to the point where I would have to specify that by "hang out" I meant "fuck like rabbits." Growing up shouldn't be this way.
I took it upon myself to take one shot of tequila to have an excuse for hitting on my not-single coworker. It worked.
I'm mailing you cans of corn and that's final.
Just used my flashlight app to find a gummy lifesaver I dropped on the floor
I like how you're utilizing your resources
I keep getting the feeling him and his friends are hilarious and we should drink whiskey together forever
Just told myself the phrase "You're not THAT single" while dressing myself
My professor congratulated me on turning my assignment in early. I didn't have the heart to tell him I only passed it in early cause my sex plans got canceled for the night.
Randomize