I drank entirely too much. My skin hurts to wear
I thought she was being abused so tried to go in at the sympathy angle, but the bruises were from pole dancing. I went in at all angles.
She texted me shhh....im drunk, secret booty call...how could i say no?
oh sorry. I thought "boat" was code for "penis"
He ate me out in the forest at that park we used to hit my bong in highschool again, somehow this isn't what I pictured being 25 would be like
I went in the closet and cried, then the bathroom and cried, and lastly he showed me his penis and I cried. It was a weird night.
In the bath trying to absorb water through my skin because I can't drink it.. That hungover
You really could become the cat lady we've always dreamed of.
I was loaded. my pee still has a hint of lime
On the flip side Weston asked if he could move me to Wisconsin to be his "moto hoe" which is actually a thing apparently
I put in a tampon while driving a moving vehicle. I feel like this is simultaneously a new low and the sort of feat that deserves a merit badge.
I swear we were drugged last night
We had a 130$ tab bitch. We drugged ourselves.
I did a line off of, and then danced on top of a table older than this country.
Harvard is great.
I'm doing my drinking workout. 20 pushups for each beer I finish. I should write a fucking book
when I said eat the rich I didn't mean like that but here we are sucking that capitalist dick
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