Horny girl and non horny girl have different views on life
Im holding a competition......who saw me last, and who knows how my nose got bruised? you earn points for answering either question. and for bringing me water.
So tasty. Tasty like a vagina with ninjas in it
I decided to buy a keg of Miller Lite instead of paying the electric bill. Just thought I'd give you a heads up...
Incoming: this is a booty call. To accept, please reply with an appropriate time. To reject, please reply "N" and the information will be filed for future reference.
fucked a girl in Bentley hall at ten tonight, came on the carpet and I plan on doing it in another building soon. Watch where you walk
I just want to eat and sleep til I'm dead. I should've been born a cat.
LinkedIn just suggested I might know the guy I caught my wife fucking.
Naw. I'm tired and I'd have to shave my legs. I doubt the sex or the company would be worth it.
When I type "sleep" my phone suggests "with Trevor". My phones an asshole.
What's with guys asking if I wanna "kick it" like I'm some fucking 19 year old
I answered the booty call in my Trophy Wife cutoff and my ex-boyfriends sweatpants with a bottle of jager.
and how was that received?
Whatever he got a sick blow job and his high school fantasy was fulfilled
And that's what dreams are made of
*hilary duff crying in the background*
Only you could get too drunk for taco bell. I don't know if I'm jealous or ashamed. Go to bed.
she compared me favorably to her vibrator
which one?
Randomize
