i'm home, then i'll come over
ightttt gangstaaaaaaaaaaaa
nvm.
I think I'm cybering, it's been a while and its more in depth than it was in 8Th grade.
Well, I can't relate. I have no idea what it feels like to withhold sex. Or have self-control in general.
Apparently I had an idea for a cooking show and then proceeded to throw cookies at people.
Did you pluck my eyebrows one night when I passed out?
Thanks for making breakfast. I usually have cereal and coffee...but i think margaritas and turkey sandwiches could catch on.
I found her sleepin on the side of the house in the rocks. so i woke her up and yelled at her and she would only come inside if i let her sleep in the bathroom.
I understand why they say don't drink the water in Mexico... I just saw 5 guys piss upstream of where the bar tender went to get the water
adding to the list of how to lure in freshman boys: take dogs for a walk, yell at them from across the street, sit on the curb at 3 in the morning sobbing
Do you think dominoes pizza would deliver faster if I told them I just had shower sex and that always makes me hungry?
She's licking the whiskey out of the carpet. I think we may be soulmates.
Honestly after an incomprehensible political rant yoga seems like the best option at 2 am
you face planting the wall was epic
did you at least save my tooth
Just hit on a girl with the line, "You look like Natalie Portman if she did drugs". Strike 1
He told us when he was 10 he started shoving bars of soap up his ass for pleasure so i winked at him
Randomize
