I am doing a scientific study and i need a brief description of the underpants you are wearing
in vegas stuck in the middle of a pride right now
Pride?
thats a pack of cougars
go fuck yourself
I just saw a group of 50+ year old women all wearing shirts that said "drink up, bitches" ...please tell me that can be us some day.
I'm wearing the jeans from casino night. Tell me why I have a napkin in my pocket that says 'dont fear me'? I'm hoping it was just a coincidence.
I cannot even describe to you the most amazing ass I have ever had the pleasure of seeing walk up the stairs in front of me just now.
The inside of my nose has felt like the guy's face falling off from raiders of the lost ark all week
It was awful. He had a wife
And now you've had a year of virgin penance. Absolve yourself.
Its honestly only a matter of time before I punch him in the face... I'll try to control myself until you guys break up
I'm the Oprah of jello shots
Monday afternoon and I'm still hungover from Valentine's Day. I think I'm winning at the single life.
And if you haven't kicked a pigeon you haven't started your morning right
Why can I remember how tall Nicki Minaj is from looking up her height once months ago, yet after weeks into the semester I can't even remember where any my classrooms are located
Importance
Just in case you blacked out, we had sex, you came in me, we need plan B, we fell off your top bunk, broke your roommates chair, i still like you, but i'm in pain and am going to bed
Who brings a stripper home to ninja turtle bed sheets
Me and I got head
I’m pretty sure I have teeth marks on my neck
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