I totally got off with my controler for my ps3. Soooo glad I ended up with that racing game for Christmas.
He looked me in the chest and said "I think I was visited by the titty fairy last night"
this morning i realized i came home with more condoms then i left. burn.
I kind of feel like guidos are mythical creatures.
She apparently grabbed another girl and pulled her into the shower fully clothed. When the girl was like "you need to stop" she curled up into a ball and refused to leave.
Whoa, you know how to pick em.
Regular drunk falling on flat ground did not prepare me for drunk falling into a pile of firewood.
Her idea of a bathing suit is... well.. she might not actually even know what one is. I've only ever seen her in a pool drunk and fully clothed or attempting to get into a pool but tripping over her pants which are at her ankles. Drunk.
Sweet tea and masterbation. It's how I manage.
and i do believe that will be the last time you send me a photograph of our mother in her underwear.
You FaceTimed me to show me he was sucking your tit
I'll give you one guess. It has a cock and I want it
easy for you to say. you're not the one who has to explain why you woke up with a pineapple and a used condom.
I just threw up in front of a bunch of parents/prospective students while they were on a campus tour..awesome..
He nicknamed his dick "the fountain of youth" I think it's time to move on...
I like that they’re all named Christopher or Chris. No need to worry about moaning during!
Randomize
