My roommate found me crawling down the hallway as she was on her way to her morning class. Its time for a new semester.
Want to come to my BBQ and Blow party?
We had an indepth conversation about his employment at Arbys..
She literally just puked and rallied AT HER OWN WEDDING. Welcome to White Trash town, America.
According to this USDA thing I just read, I should either get upper respiratory issues or begin to bleed from my nose and mouth.
I can't even remember the last time I took my own pants off
As long as I don't spend the half the week passed out/fucked up on Klonopin and no one dies, this will be the best week I've had all semester.
Can you bring me a corn dog or something shaped like one?
I'm not allowed back because I may or may not have insulted his beer. And the entire Czech Republic.
The way I kissed her was actually pretty charming and then it devolved to car sex
We grabbed as many adult diapers as we could and made a run for it.
the kid next to me in math class is drawing gay porn. it's good, but that is beside the point
Fell off the toilet trying to reach to put my tampon in the garbage. Pride hurts real bad.
They asked me my level of pain at the hospital and I told them I called my ex 6 times
Hope you are okay. You were running down the street with shopping cart at one point and yelling "bitches aint shit!"
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